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When is it safe to have sex after the birth of our baby?

Most caregivers recommend waiting about four weeks after you give birth. It’s definitely not safe to have intercourse involving penetration until at least two weeks after delivery. During this time, you’re usually still bleeding and at risk for a hemorrhage or uterine infection.

If you have stitches, though – either from a c-section, a perineal tear or an episiotomy – it’s likely that your caregiver will advise you to wait until after your six-week postpartum visit.

After you get your caregiver’s go-ahead, it’s okay to start having sex again as soon as you feel ready and not before.

Let’s be realistic about having sex after your baby’s birth

It’s common to have a low libido in the weeks or even months after having a baby. In the first six weeks after delivery, you’re caring 24/7 for your newborn. This means you’re likely to be exhausted, possibly sore and overwhelmed. Give your body time to heal.

You’re likely to have less natural vaginal lubrication in the first four to six weeks after the birth due to your body’s decreasing level of estrogen during this time.  If you’re breastfeeding your baby, this dryness may continue for as long as you continue to nurse. Or it may return slowly as your nursing sessions become less frequent. Use a natural lubricant to enhance your comfort.

Your body has been through a lot. You may feel less attractive or less confident in your changing body at this point. You may fear becoming pregnant again, particularly if you are using a new form of contraception. Or you may be struggling with baby blues or postpartum depression.

When will my vagina be back to normal?

Your vagina will certainly be stretched out just after childbirth, but it will start to shrink and regain muscle tone within a few days. Whether or not your vagina returns to its original size depends on a number of factors: genetics, the size of your baby, the number of children you’ve had, and whether you do Kegel exercises regularly.

I think I’m ready for sex, but I’m worried about the pain

If you had perineal tearing or an episiotomy, you’re likely to be particularly tender in that area. For some women, the tenderness resolves relatively quickly. Others may have discomfort for months after delivery.

Take it slow and easy, and try to enjoy each other’s bodies without specific expectations of where it will lead. Try to find a time when you won’t feel rushed through lovemaking. If you’re not sure you’re ready for intercourse, consider manual or oral stimulation around the clitoris. You can ask your partner to avoid the perineum and vagina if they’re still sore.

Once you’re feeling ready to give intercourse a try, you might experiment with different positions where you can control the depth of penetration. If you had a c-section, consider making love side-by-side so there’s no pressure on your wound. Using a natural lubricant like BabyDance will help reduce any discomfort you might feel from vaginal dryness. Be sure to let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t as you’re going along.

What about birth control?

Once you give birth, you may start ovulating again at any time, and because you will ovulate before you get your first postpartum period, you can get pregnant if you have unprotected sex during this time. Consider your birth control options before delivery and be sure to use condoms until you’ve got reliable contraception in place.

Talk to your healthcare provider about what kind of contraception will work best for you now. You may be able to resume using the birth control method you used in the past, or you may decide that something else would work better. Your options will depend in part on whether you want to have more children in the next few years and whether you’re breastfeeding.

Will breastfeeding affect our sex life?

Perhaps. Your breasts may not feel like an erogenous zone the way they did before. You may also find that at times they’re too tender for touching or sexual stimulation. Let your partner know how much touching or sucking you’d like.

And yes, your breasts may leak at an inconvenient time. During climax, some women experience letdown (their breasts leak or spray milk). That’s because the hormones that are present during orgasm are also present during letdown. If it bothers you, nurse your baby or empty your breasts by pumping before having sex. As time goes on and breastfeeding becomes more established, leaking during sex may not happen as frequently.

If you’re not ready to resume your sex life yet, give yourself a break. You need time to adjust both physically and emotionally to the demands of caring for a baby, and there’s no need to rush into having sex until you feel ready. In time, sex can be as satisfying as it was before your baby came along.

Want to Know More?

A Faster Postpartum Recovery

Do I Have The Baby Blues Or Postpartum Depression?

Resources for this article:

Mayo Clinic:  Sex after pregnancy: Set your own timeline.

John Hopkins Medicine: What Really Helps You Bounce Back After Pregnancy

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The Best Ways to Burp a Baby

On Your Shoulder: Hold baby firmly against your chest and shoulder, supporting their bottom with one hand and gently patting and rubbing their back with your other hand. This position most consistently produces productive burps. Remember to place a protective cloth on your shoulder to protect your clothes.

Sitting Up: Sit baby on your lap with their head leaning forward but not flopping backwards or to the side. Support their chest with your hand/arm as you hold them under their arm pit. Pat and rub their back.

Face-Down On Your Lap: Place baby face down on your lap, with their tummy on one of your legs and head resting on the other. Hold baby securely with one hand while patting and rubbing their back with the other. This lap position may be extra soothing for infants experience colic.

Sources:

Mayo Clinic: Guide to Your Baby’s First Year

What to Expect the First Year

Want to Know More?

• Colic in Babies
• Is Green Baby Poop Normal?
• Treating Oral Thrush in Babies

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Types of Baby Poop

Newborn Baby Poop: After birth, a baby’s first bowel movements are black, tarry and sticky. This type of stool is known as meconium and is made up of amniotic fluid, mucus, skin cells and other things ingested during pregnancy. Two to four days after birth, you should see a transition to a green poop that is less tacky than meconium.

Breastfed Baby Poop: As baby begins digesting breast milk, meconium is replaced with a mustard yellow, green or brown color stool. It is typically seedy and pasty in texture and may be runny enough to resemble diarrhea. Healthy breastfed stools will smell sweet (unlike regular bowel-movement odor).

Formula-Fed Baby Stools: When you start formula, healthy poop is typically a shade of yellow or brown with a pasty consistency that is no firmer than peanut butter. Formula-fed babies also pass fewer, but bigger and more smelly stools than breastfed babies.

Partially Digested Food in Bowel Movements: Some foods travel so quickly through the intestines that they don’t break down completely and this can cause chunks of food to appear in your baby’s stool or for it to have a surprising color.

Guide for Baby Poop by Color

Green Baby Poop: Babies taking an iron-supplement will often have green baby poop. Green baby poop can also occur at 4 to 6 months when they start eating solid, green foods, such as pureed peas, spinach and beans.

Orange, Yellow and Brown Stools: These colors are normal in breastfed and bottle fed babies.

Black Blood in Baby Poop: If  baby’s stool has little specks of black blood in it, it means baby has digested blood while breastfeeding on mother’s cracked and bleeding nipples. This does not pose a threat to your baby, but it’s a good idea to check with a doctor to make sure the blood is not a symptom of something more serious.

Once your baby begins eating solid food, his or her bowel movements might contain a wide variety of colors.

Poop Warning Signs

If you’re concerned about the color or consistency of your baby’s bowel movements, contact your baby’s doctor. This is especially important if your baby’s bowel movements are:

Runny or Watery: Baby’s diarrhea will be green, yellow or brown and runny. It can be an indication of an infection or allergy. It can cause dehydration if it goes too long without treatment.

Hard, Pebble-like: Babies can become constipated when they are introduced to solid foods. Pebbly stools could also be a sign of sensitivity to milk or soy, or a intolerance to something in breast milk or formula.

Red or Bloody: While baby’s poop can turn red because of something they ate or drank, such as tomatoes or fruit punch, red baby poop can be a sign of blood in the stool. Red blood found in normal poop could be a sign of a milk protein allergy, while red blood in diarrhea could mean your baby has a bacterial infection.

Mucus: Slimy, green-colored streaks with glistening strings in your baby’s poop means mucus is present. Although it can happen when your baby is drooling, mucus in baby poop can also be a sign of infection.

White: Chalky white baby poop could be a warning sign that your baby is not properly digesting food. A white color may indicate a lack of bile from the liver to digest food.

Your baby will have a full range of “normal” baby poop types that simply indicates your baby is healthy and growing. Contact your doctor if you see any of these warning signs and be prepared to describe your baby’s bowel movements, including color, consistency, volume, and frequency. The more details you provide, the better the doctor will be able to help you determine what’s normal for your baby and when treatment might be needed.

Sources:

Mayo Clinic

Blank Children’s Hospital

Want to Know More?

• Treating Oral Thrush in Babies
• Baby Baths
• How to Ensure Safe Sleep for Your Baby

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Symptoms of Cradle Cap

• Patches of scaling or thick crusts on the scalp
• Oily or dry skin covered with flaky white or yellow scales
• Skin flakes (similar to dandruff)
• Possibly mild redness

Cradle cap is sometimes confused with atopic dermatitis. The major difference between these skin conditions is that atopic dermatitis usually causes significant itching. Cradle cap most likely bothers you more than baby.

How to Naturally Treat and Prevent Cradle Cap

Natural remedies are best:

• Wash your baby’s scalp daily or 2-3/week with a mild shampoo. This can help you loosen and remove the scales. Don’t scratch cradle cap and resist over washing.
• Apply an oil treatment. Put a tiny amount (about the size of a nickel) of a pure oil like organic olive oil, coconut oil or almond oil in your hand and then rub it gently onto your baby’s scalp. Leave the oil on for 15 minutes or so. Comb out any flakes and then wash the scalp with a mild baby shampoo. You don’t want to leave any oil behind to clog the pores.
• Treat with baking soda. Instead of using an oil, you can mix equal parts baking soda and water to form a paste. Then apply the paste directly to the scalp and let it sit for a minute. Wash off the past with a gentle baby shampoo. Whether using oil or baking soda, you can apply the treatment right before bath time. That way you can rinse it off easily during the bath.
• Moisturize after shampooing. Apply a gentle natural baby moisturizer when baby’s scalp is still damp and warm to help trap moisture in the skin. This can help to prevent the scalp from becoming dry and scaly or decrease any that is already present.
• Daily Brushing. First, gently massage your baby’s scalp with your fingers to loosen the scales. Then lightly brush your baby’s scalp with a soft brush to further loosen the scales and sweep them away.
• Use a humidifier. Adding more moisture in the air will help decrease baby’s skin dryness.

What Causes Cradle Cap?

The cause of cradle cap isn’t known. One contributing factor may be hormones that pass from the mother to the baby before birth. These hormones can cause too much production of oil (sebum) in the oil glands and hair follicles.

Another factor may be a yeast (fungus) called malassezia that grows in the sebum along with bacteria. Antifungal treatments, such as ketoconazole, are often effective, supporting the idea that yeast is a contributing factor.

Cradle cap isn’t contagious, and it’s not caused by poor hygiene.

If cradle cap persists, spreads to your baby’s face or body, your doctor may suggest a medicated shampoo, lotion or other treatment.

Sources

• Mayo Clinic
• Johns Hopkins
• Dr. Axe

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Thrush is the most common oral fungal infection suffered by infants and children. Thrush is a type of yeast called Candida albicans and while the infection is typically mild and rarely causes serious problems, it is very uncomfortable for your little one.

What Causes Thrush in Babies?

Researchers aren’t sure why, but it’s likely because a newborn has a weaker immune system and can’t yet fight infections well.

That would explain why oral thrush often follows a course of antibiotics. Antibiotics reduce the levels of healthy bacteria in our bodies, and this means fungi have an easier time growing. Oral thrush can also occur after the use of steroid medicines.

Did you have a vaginal yeast infection when you were expecting? If so, your baby could have picked up Candida during your pregnancy, delivery or from breastfeeding.

Symptoms of Thrush in Babies

Look in your baby’s mouth. Do you see any white patches or sores on their tongue, gums, and/or the inside of their mouth? Other thrush symptoms:

• Slight bleeding if the bumps are scraped
• Soreness or burning in their mouth
• Dry, cracked skin at the corners of their mouth
• Oral thrush in babies may also cause difficulty feeding and irritability or fussiness

Now check baby’s diaper area. Do they have a stubborn rash with red dots? This could be thrush.

Can Breastfeeding Mothers Get Thrush?

Thrush infection can be passed between mom’s nipples and baby’s mouth during breastfeeding. How can you tell if you have thrush on your nipples:

• Are your nipples burning and sore?
• Is the skin itchy and flaky?
• Do you feel sharp shooting pains in your breasts during or after feeding?

If you suspect your baby might have oral thrush, have your doctor take a look. If you’re breastfeeding, both of you will need antifungal treatments.

Treatment for Thrush in Babies

For oral thrush, your doctor may prescribe antifungal medication (drops or a gel) containing nystatin, which must be spread on the tongue and inside the mouth a few times a day for 10 days. The easiest way to do this is to use a sponge applicator to paint on the solution.

If thrush is affecting your baby’s diaper area or scalp, you may be able to use over-the-counter antifungals. Again, your doctor will make a recommendation.

Preventing Thrush in Babies

Candida is very contagious. That’s because it’s a dimorphic fungus, meaning that it can switch between being a yeast or a mold depending on the temperature.

Prevention tips to help your baby avoid thrush:

• Take the time to wash your baby’s hands, toys, and pacifiers.
• Launder towels, clothing, and bras that may have come into contact with Candida. The best practice is to use a hot wash cycle.

When breastfeeding be sure to:

• Keep expressed/pumped milk refrigerated until just before use to prevent the growth of yeast.

• Sterilizing your breast pump and the
• Make sure your breasts are dry after every feeding.
• Avoid using disposable nursing pads with a plastic backing, and remember to change your nursing pads when they get wet.

Talk to your doctor about an effective probiotic.

Sources:

• Healthline
• Mayo Clinic

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Tests for babies assess their cognitive skills. Check our list below for cognitive development milestones. When it comes to measuring their actual iIQ, you may need to wait until your child is closer to school age to get a good sense of whether they’re going to be the next Einstein.

Can I Help My Baby’s IQ Develop?

The most crucial time of brain development for a child is from pre-natal to the first nine months of life. During this time, the growth and development of baby’s brain is fast and in high gear. The earlier the brain cells or neurons are stimulated, the more synapses (connection of one neuron to another) are created. It is these early neural synapses that make us learn, remember, talk, think, count and create.

Prenatal care plays a major role in baby’s brain development. Invest in proper nutrition, especially high quality omega 3 essential fatty acids. The American Pregnancy Association recommends adding to your pregnancy diet tuna and salmon from Safe Catch because every fish is test for mercury and assured safe for pregnant women. Exercise and relaxation are also good for a brainy baby. Supplementing with Omega 3s while breastfeeding is thought to help baby’s IQ.

Infants are born ready to learn and they do so by cuddling with mom and dad, moving their bodies, tasting foods and exploring their environments. You can stimulate your baby’s brain by frequently talking, singing, making funny faces and reading to them. Try these stimulating activities too:

• Making eye contact helps baby recognize faces and create memories as early as three months.
• Going for walks and narrating what you see, hear and smell. Explaining things will help baby learn the meaning of words and build language and vocabulary skills.
• Letting baby hold objects and experience texture helps them learn how things feel and begin mastering muscle and motor skills.
• Explain different colors so baby begins to identify colors and see contrasts.
• Playing with blocks and showing baby how to stack and arrange by color and size. Graduate to other toys that build motor skills, imagination and problem-solving skills.

Check Your Baby’s Cognitive Developmental Milestones

2 months

• Pays attention to faces
• Begins to follow things with eyes and recognize people at a distance
• Begins to act bored (cries, fussy) if activity does not change

6 months

• Looks around at things nearby
• Brings things to mouth
• Shows curiosity about things and tries to get things that are out of reach
• Begins to pass things from one hand to another

12 months

• Explores things in different ways, like shaking, banging, throwing
• Finds hidden things easily
• Looks at the right picture or thing when it is named
• Copies gestures
• Starts to use things correctly (like drinks from a cup, brushes hair)
• Bangs two things together
• Puts things in a container, takes things out of a container
• Lets things go without help
• Pokes with index (pointer) finger
• Follows simple directions like “pick up the toy”

18 months

• Knows what ordinary things are; for example, telephone, brush, spoon
• Points to get the attention of others
• Shows interest in a doll or stuffed animal by pretending to feed
• Point to one body part
• Scribbles on his own
• Can follow one-step verbal commands without any gestures; for example, sits when you say “sit down”

24 months

• Finds things even when hidden under two or three covers
• Begins to sort shapes and colors
• Completes sentences and rhymes in familiar books
• Plays simple make-believe games
• Builds towers of four or more blocks
• Might use one hand more than the other
• Follows two-step directions like, “Pick up your shoes and put them in the closet”

36 months

• Can work toys with buttons, levers, and moving parts
• Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people
• Does puzzles with three or four pieces
• Understands what “two” means
• Copies a circle with a pencil or crayon
• Turns book pages one at a time
• Builds towers of more than six blocks

• Screws and unscrews jar lids or turns door handles

Baby’s IQ is important. But remember, your love, affection and being attentive to your baby are simple, yet tremendously effective ways to promote baby’s  IQ and normal brain development.

Resources:

• American Academy of Pediatrics
• Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2013). Developmental Milestones.

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Baby Bath: Getting Ready

The first bath will be a sponge bath. Pick a warm room with a flat surface, like a bathroom or kitchen counter, a changing table, or a bed. Cover the surface with a thick towel. Keep baby from chilling with a room temperature of at least 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

Assemble all the baby bath items you will use:
• Baby bath sponge or clean wash cloth
• Clean blanket or bath towel
• Clean diaper
• Clean clothes
• Vaseline and gauze if you have a circumcised boy
• Warm water, not hot

Important: Never leave your baby alone in a bath — not even for a moment. If you must get to the phone, the stove, or whatever, take baby with you.

Baby’s Sponge Bath

Gentle sponge baths are perfect for the first few weeks until the umbilical cord falls off, the circumcision heals and the navel heals completely.

The basics of bathing a baby:

• First, undress baby — cradling the head with one hand. Leave the diaper on (wash that area last). Wrap baby in a towel, exposing only those areas that you are washing.
• Using a baby bath sponge or wash cloth, cleanse one area at a time. Start behind the ears, then move to the neck, elbows, knees, between fingers and toes. Pay attention to creases under the arms, behind the ears, around the neck.
• The hair comes toward the end of bath time so baby doesn’t get cold. While newborns don’t have much hair, you can sponge the few wisps that are there. To avoid getting eyes wet, tip the head back just a little. There’s no need for shampoo; just use water.
• Now it’s time to remove the diaper and sponge baby’s belly, bottom and genitals.
• Wash little girls from front to back. If there’s a little vaginal discharge, don’t worry — and don’t try to wipe it all away. If a little boy is uncircumcised, leave the foreskin alone. If circumcised, don’t wash the head of the penis until it’s healed.
• Gently pat baby dry. Rubbing the skin will irritate it.
• Dress in a clean diaper and clothes. Remember a onesie is best for sleep time.

Baby Bath: Tub Time

Once the umbilical cord falls off, and the circumcision and the navel are completely healed, it’s time to try a tub bath. Not all babies like the transition, so if your baby gets fussy, go back to sponge baths for a week or so, then try again. Bathing a baby is a process — an adjustment for both baby and parent.

Use a safe, sturdy tub. Baby bath tubs can be “bucket style” for sitting upright, slanted for support, inflatable, folding and spa-style. Make sure all the parts of the tub are working properly and are attached securely. Foldable tubs can be more convenient for storage but often are not as sturdy as non-foldable ones. Many of the injuries that involved a baby’s limb or other body part becoming trapped happened in a tub that folded. Inflatable tubs may be more likely to collapse.

Be aware of bumps, edges and slings. In many of the incidents where bumps on the tub caused injuries, a sling made of fabric or mesh was involved. Consider avoiding tubs with slings or pay close attention to any bumps or edges that pose a risk. When buying a hard plastic tub, look for a smooth shape and edges. Avoid tubs with places where your baby could be pinched.

Check for rust and mold. Drain the tub completely after each use to avoid rust and mold. You also can use a tub with a plug or drain at the base to drain water after bath time. Some tubs even have a mildew-resistant foam lining.

Never leave a child alone in a bathtub. Children can drown in 1 or 2 inches of water. Don’t turn your back even for a moment or leave babies in the care of another child.

Check water temperature. Lower the temperature of your water heater to no more than 120 degrees Fahrenheit to avoid burns.

Bathing a Baby: The First Tub Bath

Make the first tub baths quick ones. If baby is too fussy with this transition, go back to a sponge bath. Fill the tub with only 2 or 3 inches of warm — not hot — water. Use one hand to support baby’s head, then slowly lower them.

• Using a washcloth or baby bath sponge, wash the face and hair. When rinsing, protect eyes with your hand across the forehead. Gently wash the rest of baby with water and a small amount of soap.
• Use water or a cleanser designed for babies. As hair grows, try gentle baby shampoo.
• To keep baby warm during the bath, cup your hand to let handfuls of water wash over baby’s chest.
• Gently pat baby dry. Apply baby lotion all over to seal in moisture.
• Now it’s time for a fresh diaper. Apply diaper ointment as needed to protect against irritation.
• When bath time is over, wrap baby in a towel right away, covering baby’s head for warmth.
• Dress in a clean clothes. Remember a onesie and other Safe Sleep steps if it’s sleep time.

Resources

American Academy of Pediatrics

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Your Baby’s Sleeping Risks

Research shows that several factors put babies at higher risk for SIDS and other sleep-related causes of infant death.

Babies are at higher risk for SIDS if they:

• Sleep on their stomachs
• Sleep on soft surfaces, such as an adult mattress, couch, or chair or under soft coverings
• Sleep on or under soft or loose bedding
• Get too hot during sleep
• Are exposed to cigarette smoke in the womb or in their environment, such as at home, in the car, in the bedroom, or other areas
• Sleep in an adult bed with parents, other children, or pets; this situation is especially dangerous if:
  • The adult smokes, has recently had alcohol, or is tired.
  • The baby is covered by a blanket or quilt.
  • The baby sleeps with more than one bed-sharer.
  • The baby is younger than 11 to 14 weeks of age.

Room Sharing, Not Bed Sharing

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends having babies sleep in their parent’s room for their first six months, or better yet, until their first birthday. NOTE: Babies should not sleep in the bed with their parents. Babies need their own safe space: A bassinet, crib, or co-sleeper (a separate sleeping area that attaches to your bed).

New statistics say room-sharing can lower the risk of SIDS by as much as 50%. It’s easier to keep an eye on your baby, comfort, and feed them.

Campaign for Safe Sleep

The National Institutes of Health has a public education campaign called Safe to Sleep to reach and inform parents and other caregivers. A lot goes into creating and keeping a secure sleep environment.

Secure Bedding

Your baby should rest in a crib, co-sleeper, or bassinet that is free of everything except the baby. That means no bumper pads, quilts, blankets, pillows, soft toys, positioning devices, or reachable toys with strings. Make sure the mattress is firm, and always use a tightly fitted sheet. Soft bedding above or below your child can block their airways.

You may see cribs with stuffed animals, other toys, or pillows in magazines and on TV. They might look cute, but they aren’t safe for your little one.

Safe Sleep Position

Don’t let your baby nap on couches, swings, or any place beside their bed. Every time you put your infant down to get shut-eye, place them in their crib, bassinet, or co-sleeper with their face upward. That’s how your baby should sleep until they can roll from back-to-front and front-to-back. Sleep positioners, like wedges or rolled blankets, may seem like a good idea, but they can move out of place and get in the way of your child’s breathing.

Because of the way babies are built, a healthy infant is less likely to choke when on their back, despite what you may have heard. They are more able to cough out or swallow anything they spit up.

Sleepwear and Covers

When dressing your baby for bedtime, a one-piece sleeper or sleep sack is the best choice. Depending on the season, it can be lightweight or thick.

It’s best not to use a blanket at all. The wearable blanket should keep them warm. Do not put the baby to sleep in a swaddling blanket.

Breastfeeding and Pacifiers

Research shows breastfeeding your baby is one of the strongest ways to help prevent SIDS. But do not breastfeed while sitting in a chair or on a couch if you are tired and in danger of falling asleep yourself.

Pacifiers also lower the risk of SIDS. If you plan to breastfeed, don’t introduce a pacifier until you know your baby is doing well with nursing. Never hang the pacifier around their neck or attach it to their clothes while they sleep. There’s no need to put it back in their mouth after they have fallen asleep.

Talk to All Caregivers

Be sure to teach grandparents, baby sitters and everyone who may care for your child the importance of these Safe to Sleep guidelines. You can even post them in the nursery so you sleep better at night.

Resources:

National Institutes of Health

American Academy of  Pediatrics

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